It took me nearly a year to edit this and now I’m finally happy.


Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you my first ever poetry collection entitled THE GIRLS WHO LOVED THE WORLD



Gilded Butterflies + Announcement


How’s that sweater feel?

In the swelter of June

Or about that expensive cocktail

Does it feel good or are you queasy too soon?

How’s that new car feel?

Does it quench your thirst for speed?

Or are you still dehydrated within?

Do those palaces of lechery prick your skin with excitement?

Or are you just doing it to seem relevant?


One day we, we will laugh at all the gilded butterflies

Weighed down by their filigree wings

We’ll find the void where all the sadness lies

The void that can’t be filled by phony things.


How do those shoes feel?

Can you dance in them?

Can you tango and twist?

Or are you a mannequin with frozen feet?

How does that caviar taste?

The blood and sweat of working class parents

Laid before bar tables and bar dancer bosoms

Only to be vomited on toilet seats and French shoes

Why would you want to be anyone but you?


One day we, we will laugh at the gilded butterflies

Weighed down by their ornamental wings

Trapped in their labyrinthine lies

Wouldn’t you rather be free?


How does that opinion taste?

Is it familiar or foreign?

Something you swallowed and told yourself your stomach agreed with?

Not the case until you retched it.

How does that ideology feel?

Does it touch and tingle like a woman’s skin?

Or is it tossing you in a hot desert with a coarse feel?

How does that personality fit?

It seems rather loose. Would you like an expensive belt with it?

Looks like the slightest shake could make it slip right off your hips.



One day we, we will all laugh at gilded butterflies

That think with filigree wings they could fly

That think with dressed up personalities they could soar

One small mistake the gilded butterflies would be no more.


Someday he, he will stop being a gilded butterfly

And he will see, see that you can’t get around on heavy wings

Weighing you with things you only think you need

Let it go and see how you fly free






I have decided to edit “Thunderbolt Magil” and this is one of the feature poems. Once the book has been edited, finished, polished and published,  I shall let you guys know.

i hate love and everything it stands for

i hate love

i never want to be loved by anyone, largely because i cannot picture myself loving anyone as well

i didnt like being sweet.

i hate compromise

i hate making time

but most of all i hate emotions.

it’s not that i dont have feelings it’s just that they’re not as engaged and functional probably due to years of being stuffed in the dark where i cannot “see” or reach them.

i have numbed myself so much over the years that i have forgotten what it’s like to actually feel something.

to know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and have butterflies in your stomach just looking at someone

to care for someone, to see how they’re doing, to make time for them and see each other when you can

i hated emotions. i buried myself in all sorts of things so i wouldnt learn how to feel. and i got so good at it

i was already mastering the art of not feeling anything until he came along.

i wish you didnt have to come.  i was only looking for a good time and you made this happen. you made this happen and i wanted out but you just latched on to me.

i dont want to use my emotions anymore. i think the years of chilling myself have led to them being so underdeveloped that when i start to use them, i start to feel everything so deeply and it’s affecting me.

to be honest, i’m scared of my emotions.

it’s been a long time since i last felt hurt and i was happy during the days i didnt feel them and i dont want to feel them anymore.

i dont know how to cope with things like this. im twentyfuckingthree years old and i’m still terrified whenever i start to catch feelings for someone.

im afraid of sadness, of anger, of happiness even

i just want to be in a state of complete numbness. i want to be stoic and cold.


It took me months to conceptualize it and to finalize it and now I’m finally writing and arranging it! It’s a concept poem-novel art book (does it make sense?) that I wrote while drinking coffee at a cafe. It’s got everything-it has art, it has poetry, it has themes and it’ll have its own album on SoundCloud one day .

In the meantime, here’s a link to it!


Pls. tell me via the comments what you think 🙂

P.S. Still subject to changes so if anything feels raw or what, it’ll probably still undergo editing.

PPS. It WILL HAVE drawings. Drawing is hard.

Not Me

Not me

I don’t know how to crawl

All I learned since birth

Was how to stand tall

Not me I never learned to bow

All I learned since birth

Was to walk away now

Not me

I never learned to share

All I learned since birth

Was to forget how to care

Not me

I don’t know how to kneel

I think when I was born

I was born with an instinct to kill

Not me

I don’t know how to give

A predator since day one

All I know is to take what is to come

Not me

I don’t know how to sleep

Vigilant and awake

I can come in for the thrill

Not me

I don’t know how to stay

Ever since I was kid

All I ever did was run away

Not me

I’ve never learned to weep

Keep it all inside

Though I know they run too deep

Not me

I’ve never been scared

All I’ll ever know

Is to face whatever’s there

Lost in Los Banos (WEEK ONE)

So in case you didn’t know yet I’m currently taking a review class for the nutrition and dietetics board exam at the University of the Philippines Los Banos and though I’ve had alot of absences (heh!) I can say that the past two weeks of staying in a dorm and waking up  at 6:00 (EDIT: 6:15-I’m not a very good liar [still probably a lie]) to get to the campus and listen to the lectures.

Truth be told I stopped attending the lectures or finishing them when I realize that the content of the lectures were the same as the manuals they gave so we just decided to learn it on our own. This is actually one of the most enjoyable parts since me and a fellow “reviewee” felt that we could stay and rest freely and reveiw on our own terms more often (which proved to be productive for the both of us since we both passed the first examination). The other fun parts include saying random stuff with our other housemates, cooking, making fun of myself (I have a very strange sense of humor) and of course, eating with them and having deep, meaningful conversations with them.

At first I didn’t want to go to UPLB nor did I even want to review. I didn’t want to take the boards in the first place but for some reason, being around the right people at the right place motivated me in a way and seriously introduced me to a new, more practical mindset that enables me to take any challenges head on. Sometimes it’s about stepping outside of your comfort zone, becoming less rigid and understanding other people that’ll be the key to your development and growth as a person.


this is short. i have nothing to share.

behind iridescent lights


Though brightness is around

And darkness can’t be found

The whole time she is before him

A thespian in full effect

Temptress nakedly cloaked

He sees through the guise

He realizes

That she is only a girl

In a costume, living in play

All by herself in a fantasy world

It’s always been her curse

Hot it’s hidden can’t be determined

But oh the plays, the shows she’d put

Now the curtains are coming down

The applause has yet to be heard

Her disguise has been found out

Playtime’s over

Reality is knocking on her mind’s

Wooden door.